unedited
—【From the bottom of your heart, you really… look down on me, don’t you?】
—【Qi Jing, what should I do, to make you need me more?】
Qi Jing was dazed.
Two different sentences from two different people, yet at this moment they resonated together, playing back simultaneously by his ears.
It was the inferiority.
It was the inferiority complex that linked those two sentences, the mentality of wanting to be needed by the other person the same in both—but those two approaches were different, one negative, one positive.
Bai Ke always kept alone in everything he did, never particularly good at speaking up and showing his vulnerable side, and even more so he would never admit to his inferiority complex. This dark side, like from a muddy swamp in which one would have to sink low to scoop it out for the world to see, was only for one sort of person to ever see—if it wasn’t someone he cared for, how would he be able to ask this? Asking this at least proved that it was someone who had a very important place in his heart.
The reason why he chose to put his voice low for this line instead of shouting it out… turns out it was to bring out this detail.
Other contestants would easily regard this character as ungrateful and petty, yet they never consider that there was an emotional backstory for this current ‘ungratefulness’, hence it was easy to make him into a one-sided villain.
In comparison, this ‘Bai Ke’ made people more… sympathetic.
“I’ve never, ever disdained you.” Fang Yisheng sympathised with him, that’s why he would say it so clearly.
But he wasn’t the same as normal people. He experienced too many great storms in his life and grew a hard sh.e.l.l around his heart, becoming numb to many things along the way. So even if he felt sympathy, it wasn’t exactly the usual form of it, influenced by his ever so arrogant character.
While pitying Bai Ke’s misfortune, he also berated his forsaking, “It’s you who always disdained yourself.” At this moment, his tone turned colder, harsher. He didn’t help Bai Ke to cover up the mud at the depths of his heart, scooping it up and cruelly forcing him to look straight at it instead.
Sure enough, that man’s voice shook, infuriated by this viciously precise strike, “…You… shut up.”
“No matter if it’s before me, your Master, or Junior, it’s always only been you who held yourself in contempt,” Qi Jing instinctively furrowed his brows along with the progressing of the lines—compared with him previously, still in a tight spot, the demeanour in his voice now changed like a turned blade, starting to cut straight into this man, “The one to treat other people’s goodwill as a charity, to drive away people from around you, to drift so far away, it was all also you—!”
The last ‘you’ was still only half-said, but that man’s raspy roar already cut it short, “Shut up!”
The listeners didn’t even dare to breathe.
But Qi Jing didn’t leave them a s.p.a.ce to breathe, biting hard into the finish of Shen Yan’s ‘shut up’ and also cutting back harshly, “Bai Ke, you can’t always just deceive yourself, deceive everyone!”
“Shut up—!” In the end, it was during the last, most frenzied, most crazed part of this confrontation when he roared like a wounded beast. Qi Jing could even hear the sudden background sound of the objects being brutally sweeped off the table.
He remembered that in the novel, this was the moment when Bai Ke lost control and pushed Fang Yisheng to the ground, taking out a dagger with the desire to kill him.
“Ngh…” He understood what kind of movements the characters would do, so he responded timely with the sound of a struggle.
All this time, he was hearing the raspy inhales and exhales of the man’s heavy breathing, running through the whole scene, reflecting both his movements and mind. The voice source seemed to stay close to the mic, the little distortions that usually aren’t supposed to appear in professional acting actually adding the intense background effect for this moment.
“Fang Yisheng…” The hoa.r.s.e voice started repeating like a broken record in a crazy amok, “I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you—!”
After Qi Jing’s breathing calmed down a bit, he imagined a dagger before his very eyes—this dagger was loath to fall; but for whether he rejoiced or bemoaned this, he was no longer clear. Despite that, it was the moment he was faced with the other’s choked curses when his moment of tenderness left a deep cut in the heart.
“If it can make you look back,” He suddenly moved his lips slightly, his sigh almost inaudible, “…Then kill me.”
“Ding.”
Sixty seconds had pa.s.sed at that very moment.
That low, finishing sigh slowly turned into a long exhale as Qi Jing closed his eyes and sloped over his desk—it was finished, he persevered all the way to the end.
Just as he wanted to spend a moment laying down like this to replenish some energy, he suddenly heard Yuan Zhengming utter feebly, “…Cut…”
Wait a moment…
Even if Qi Jing wanted to continue lying down, he just couldn’t—his head shot up drastically to look at this judge’s ID in the channel members list. The sixty seconds were clearly up on the timer already, what the heck did Yuan Zhengming mean by calling a cut on them?
Of course, the listeners also rose in protest.
Audience 1: 〒▽〒 I was just pulling paper towels while crying! So Macaque Teacher, just what’s up with this cut!!? Scram up whatever part of your Huaguo Mountain is the coldest!! (←rude)
Audience 2: 〒▽〒 Which part of it called for a cut!! Orangutan Teacher, if you don’t give us a viable reason for that, I’ll be roasting orangutan meat everyday!!
Audience 3: 〒▽〒 The time has pa.s.sed already, so what the actual h.e.l.l do you still call a cut for?? Teacher, get it together already!!
Audience 4: 〒▽〒 I already got pummelled into tiny bits by the angst, I have no flame left to roast Ape Teacher…
Audience 5: 〒▽〒 Already got pummelled into bits by the angst, no flame left to roast Ape Teacher… +1
Audience 6: 〒▽〒 Already got pummelled into bits by the angst, no flame left to roast Ape Teacher… +2
…
Faced with such numerous voices of criticism, the reason Yuan Zhengming gave was actually, “…I just, I got too immersed, so it was only when the time was up when I realised that something was wrong.”
Teacher Yuan, you…
Qi Jing face-palmed in silence.
Nevertheless, Yuan Zhengming surely had his reasons to point stuff out like this.
Actually, Qi Jing didn’t care much about whether his score was high or low, but as a voice actor, he wanted to know what kind of problem could occur between him and Shen Yan. To be honest, he was already satisfied with the performance they gave just now, so he probably wouldn’t be able to change much now even if he tried, but a professional-level mentor sure could give a professional critique—
What he didn’t foresee was that the ‘critique’ Yuan Zhengming gave would be so beyond his expectations. “I’m telling you guys… Bai Ke and Fang Yisheng by you two, you kinda made them look like a couple.”
Qi Jing momentarily got completely stumped, then his cheeks suddenly flushed bright red. He instinctively covered his mouth, holding back the laugh that almost escaped his lips.
He couldn’t possibly expect this kind of reason.
To have changed a characters’ dynamic from &#k2018;enemies’ to &#k2018;lovers’&#k2014;there was simply no other reason for a cut that could make him more happy. And for Yuan Zhengming to only remember to call cut after finishing listening to it, it proved that he also found this effect very natural&#k2026;
He didn’t feel like he was being criticised by Teacher at all, the corner of his lips curling more and more up.
Audience 1: Pfft—made them look like a couple… I can’t support this reason more!! ～(≧▽≦)/～
Audience 2: Pffffhahahaha, Orangutan Teacher is so real for this!! A reason like making them look like a couple, you just love! To! See! It! (I’m sorry, as a novel reader I should be respecting the actual nature of the work, I shouldn’t go delusional about it… Although when I first read the novel, I already thought that their relationship was very ambiguous, cough cough)
Audience 3: (*艸‘*) You love to see it~ You really love to see it~
Audience 4: (*艸‘*) This whole ‘they love each other, but they also want to kill each other’ thing got me shipping them to the point of crying b.l.o.o.d.y tears… Awooooo! I didn’t expect that Macaque Teacher would also hear that! Although it never got clarified in the novel, I always felt that they really used to have something going on…
Audience 5: (*艸‘*) All that time when Kitty’s Papa and Return Date were confronting each other I’ve been clutching my heart until the end, aaaah! Begging for those two CPs to do it once, ahhhhhh!! (rolling all around)
Audience 6: You guys… And you too, Teacher Yuan… You’re making my, someone’s who already decided to ship those two CPs quietly in the dirt below, feelings, hard to hold back… _(:з」∠)_ (To h.e.l.l with that, come come come, let’s all ship it together ← wha-)
…
“They felt very much like a couple, very very much, to the point I almost forgot that they’re actually not.” Yuan Zhengming continued to chatter away. As a voice director, he sure wanted to adhere strictly to the character settings of the original novel.
Qi Jing’s smile was getting more and more radiant.
“I’m sorry.” At that time, Shen Yan admitted to the mistake in a low voice.
“Ai, the feeling you created felt like that of a couple, but in terms of acting it was all according to the script, so no need to feel like you committed some kind of a mistake.”
Qi Jing didn’t say anything, listening with a smile.
He knew that Shen Yan only said sorry because he knew that their interpretation of the emotions overstepped the original work a bit, yet he didn’t regret performing it this way… And Qi Jing himself also didn’t regret it.
As for whether it was for good or bad, they would leave that for the others to evaluate at their own pace—
【Group Score】: 4.5, 4.5, average score 4.5
【Elapsed Time】: 60 seconds = 0.6 points
【Audience Votes】: 90.7% voting ratio = 0.907 points
—————————————————–
Overall group score: 4.5＋0.60＋0.907= 6.007 points
Once the group score was out, Qi Jing himself was taken aback by it, leaning in to take a closer look at this first and probably the last time when a group score starting with a “6” showed on his screen.
They caught up…
They caught up to the previously highest group score between Shen Yan and Two. They caught up with the judges’ evaluation, also winning in terms of the votes, overtaking it by the smallest of margins. At this point, Qi Jing finally realised why other people would say that when they would get a rush of dopamine up their head, they would need to go out to run a few lapses. Right now, he couldn’t even sit still and had to sit up from his chair, pacing a few steps back and forth beside it.
Nevertheless, in terms of the personal score points, he still placed a bit below Two.
“Don’t ask for my return date” individual score:
【Voice Quality】: 4.0, 4.0, average score 4.0
【Enunciation】: 4.5, 4.0, average score 4.25
【Foundation Points】: 4.5, 4.0, average score 4.25
【Charisma】: 4.5, 4.5, average score 4.5
—————————————————–
Overall average score: 4.0＋4.25＋4.25＋4.5 = 17.0 points
Additional audience vote points: 85.3% voting ratio = 0.853 points
Overall score: 17.0＋0.853＋6.007 = 23.860 points
“Kitty の Papa” individual score:
【Voice Quality】: 4.5, 4.0, average score 4.25
【Enunciation】: 4.5, 4.0, average score 4.25
【Foundation Points】: 4.5, 4.5, average score 4.5
【Charisma】: 4.5, 4.5, average score 4.5
—————————————————–
Overall average score: 4.25＋4.25＋4.5＋4.5 = 17.5 points
Additional audience vote points: 88.4% voting ratio = 0.884 points
Overall score: 17.5＋0.884＋6.007 = 24.391 points
As he saw these scores, he also saw two messages sent by Two.
【Gimme a proper dub, dumba.s.s】said to【You】: Hah, you’ve been worrying about this and that before, but look at you, wasn’t this performance d.a.m.n good?
【Gimme a proper dub, dumba.s.s】said to【You】: But of course you will still have to work hard to outdo me~
“Pfft.”
Really had to stress that latter part, didn’t you? Fair.
This performance right now had already gone beyond his original level of skill, he had no regrets. He really didn’t.
His smile slowly died down, slowly giving the place to a forlorn expression, just like the moment of colours fading away after the most brilliant of fireworks went off in the sky, slowly falling to the ground. He had no regrets, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t want to part with this moment… He didn’t want it to conclude, he didn’t want to bid it a goodbye.
There were so many words he wanted to say but couldn’t, no amount would be enough, but there were two that could summarise them all.
“Thank you…” His voice shook slightly.
Thank you to all the fans who withstood the hate from his antis, supporting him quietly from below, letting him know that there were actually so many people supporting him silently from behind, cheering him on.
Thank you to Teacher Longbow, who when his creation got plagiarised ignored the racket of the great G.o.d’s fans, letting everyone see the truth.
Thank you to Teacher Pu, who when he didn’t know how to bring Shen Yan out, slowly led him from under the shadows onto the scene.
Thank you to Teacher Yuan, who in the crucial moments always pulled him forward in his own unique way.
And…
Thank you, Shen Yan.
He slowly raised the phone in his hand to his eye-level, looking at a message just sent a few seconds ago.
【The b.u.t.ton already got heated warm by now】
He lowered his head with a smile, patiently typing out the reply with his slightly shaky fingers, then sending it:【Subst.i.tutes won’t cut it, next time you’ll need to heat the real deal warm.】
That’s right, thank you, “A-Yan”.
No need to list the reasons one by one, just your appearing in my life is already the most beautiful gift of all—
“I love you,” He said in a soft voice, “I have no regrets.”
But Ning Xiaoxiao couldn’t disagree more. “…I regret… so… much…”
She heard her own upset voice pa.s.sing through from between her teeth—it was the day after the finals, the moment when she rushed to open the official page of the ⟪Order to End the Heavens 5⟫ compet.i.tion.
These two days she travelled with her boyfriend to his home, and because his parents’ house didn’t have internet connection, coupled with how she had to accompany her future in-laws all around, she completely lost the chance to listen to it live. It wasn’t until the day after when she finally had some time to browse the page on her phone in secret, more than eager to know who ultimately won the roles.
But when she hurriedly scrolled through the name list, then the second time, then third, and still didn’t see the ID she wished to see, she called Qi Jing’s number with “nothing left to live for” written out in b.l.o.o.d.y capital letters on her face.
She started calling him in the morning, and at first, she couldn’t get the call to connect no matter how many times she tried.
Qi Jing’s phone was turned off all that time.
She vaguely remembered that it was the day of Qi Jing’s return from Beijing, he could be on the plane with his phone turned off, so at that time she didn’t think much about that. But when she finally waited until noon and yet still didn’t manage to call him, then the same in the afternoon, she couldn’t help but start to worry.
When after running in circles she finally waited until 6 PM, Ning Xiaoxiao once again dialled his phone number without much hope. But she didn’t expect that the ringback suddenly paused after two sounds, indicating that the other person took the call. But she didn’t hear his voice in the receiver, only a faint rustling noise of something dragged over a cloth.
“h.e.l.lo?”
This time, the rustling became more p.r.o.nounced.
“h.e.l.lo? Senior?”
Her nervousness was peaking, but then she finally heard the familiar, slightly hoa.r.s.e voice coming from the other side, “…Xiaoxiao.”
Hearing him speaking up, Ning Xiaoxiao breathed with relief.
“Senior, why did you only turn your phone on now!” While breathing with relief, she also couldn’t help but start to grumble with complaint, “And here I was thinking that something happened to you, I was even thinking whether to call the police!”
Of course, calling the police was just an exaggeration, but her worry was not.
She kept talking on her own for quite a while , but the person on the other side only listened quietly until she finished. After she did, he yawned with a lazy smile, his voice sounding a bit fuzzy.
“Mn… I’m sorry, I only woke up now.”
“Eh, Senior, you’ve been sleeping?” Ning Xiaoxiao covered her lips, realising her lack of manners. She suddenly remembered that this Senior of hers would always have a weird rest pattern due to his job, as if there was no difference in day or night, so this time might have been his moment to catch up on sleep—she began to feel a great deal of guilt.
“Eh, then I will wait for a while and then…”
“Don’t worry, either way I’m already awake.” Qi Jing seemed to be smiling on the other side of the call. His breathing was very deep and calm, at times audible and at times not in the receiver, with the slight rustling of something moving on the pillow to be heard between them. Ning Xiaoxiao suddenly realised that he was still in the sheets, talking to her while still laying on bed.
“Wait,” Her sense of guilt doubled, “Senior, so you’re actually still in bed… I, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry, go on.”
After getting his permission, Ning Xiaoxiao finally released a whole days’ worth of complains she was holding in, “Senior, I really really really regret it so much—”
The man on the other side got surprised by her outburst, then she could hear a light disturbance of the breath from him. It was him laughing. “Even you’re saying so?”
“Of course!”
Not even twenty four hours after the finals concluded, aside of Ning Xiaoxiao, an uncountable lot of people lamented on Weibo, QQ and forums, all of them uniformly crying about ‘regret’, and ninety percent of them would also add a string of noodle tears emojis; the reason was simple.
“Senior, you actually, actually…” Ning Xiaoxiao couldn’t get it out in one breath, her voice so shaky she was about to start bawling, “You actually didn’t get a single role aaaaahhh—!”
Qi Jing burst out laughing loudly.
Indeed.
In the third edition of ⟪Order to End The Heavens⟫ voice acting compet.i.tion, “Don’t ask for my return date” finished all of his auditions as a double runner-up, handing in the exam answers he found rather satisfactory.
But those answers made everyone that supported him stamp their feet from regret, leaving them quite dissatisfied.
For “Emperor Chang”, because of his previous mistake, he fell behind other contestants with the score, but later he tried his best during the joined section of the finals, with male and female contestants performing together, so it was already a great feat for him to get this second place.
For “Fang Yisheng”, he actually finished the male section of the finals with first place, but unfortunately he performed a bit “flat” when faced with a female VA for the second female lead. With no mistake but also no particular stand-out, he ultimately fell to second place with his overall score.
As for describing why it turned out this way, to use Yuan Zhengming’s words at the time…
“You turned enemies into a couple, and a couple into siblings.”
Qi Jing imitated Yuan Zhengming’s helpless tone at the time, explaining it to her. Ning Xiaoxiao really was just a bit short of changing into a handkerchief-biting rodent.
“Don’t be so distressed, I personally don’t find it regretful. After all, it’s not only the skill, but also the luck that matters in professional compet.i.tions.” The female VA Qi Jing met during the finals was fair, and their group’s results also weren’t particularly outstanding. He smiled languidly, “There’s so many incredible people, so to be honest, getting two second places is already way more than I expected… And I’m very satisfied. And I also really wanted the prize for second place. I always wanted to try this type of capacitor microphone, so now I don’t need to fish out money to buy it myself, and I even got two sets.”
“But what use would you have for two sets…” Why would one person need two of the same microphone?
“As a backup.” The person on the other side paused for a moment, then smiled slightly. She felt like there was a double meaning to his words.
“Still, it’s so regretful, so regretful… Sigh, Senior, if you just weren’t this ‘brotherly’ back then…” Ning Xiaoxiao got back to the original topic and continued pouting in grievance, ultimately still unable to accept this outcome.
If she had a handkerchief in her hands right now, it would most likely really end up shredded into pieces from her biting.
Hearing her say so, he retaliated a bit with an equivocal smile. “Just as your Sister Jade had said before, I really am not suited to voice acting with a girl in a straight romance.”
He had already spilled the beans about the matter with Jade b.u.t.terfly to his Junior before the finals, so now it became one of the jokes he used to tease Ning Xiaoxiao—he kept using the same reverent “Sister Jade” she used when she still held Jade b.u.t.terfly in esteem, wanting to poke fun at her.
As expected, once she heard it, she was quick to change into an image of a timid hamster hiding its teeth and curling its paws before its trembling chest as she begged him pitifully, “Wu… I, I was wrong. At that time, she talked and coaxed me into mediating between you two, it’s all my fault that you ended up in such big trouble, Senior.”
“Haha, I can’t blame you for that. At that time, no one would imagine just what kind of person this ‘Sister Jade’ was, what she was really planning, right?”
“But…”
“Alright, don’t worry too much about that.” Qi Jing simply skimmed over the topic, “This time she didn’t get the first female lead she wanted so much, so it counts as her getting retribution.”
It really was a curious coincidence, for the first female lead Jade b.u.t.terfly signed up for, Su Miaoyu, she actually b.u.mped into Kitty の Papa she was so keen on.
Just, she forgot that it was with him as Bai Ke—
When she saw that her opponent was Kitty の Papa during the opening before the audition, her overjoyed mood showed clearly in her voice as it got high and clear from elatedness. She even spoke self-a.s.suredly about her plans to “bring him back on the right track” so that he, to use her words at the time, “Doesn’t get led astray by people like Don’t ask for my return date”.
Yet she didn’t expect that the other person would cut her short before she even finished, asking the host to begin as if he didn’t hear a single thing. After she angrily proceeded into the performance stage, the scene just turned out to be the scene of Bai Ke threatening Su Miaoyu, and Kitty の Papa’s tone was very… lifelike.
The outcome is easy to imagine.
“She actually got scared into forgetting her lines by Kitty’s Papa.” She completed the last part all stammering, her performance ruined.
Ning Xiaoxiao lit her past G.o.ddess a candle in her heart.
Qi Jing on the call didn’t reply, only laughing slightly. But based on her understanding of him, Ning Xiaoxiao could guess that his current expression was completely at ease, a smile of someone who just watches the fun with a lukewarm att.i.tude.
Talking about this, Ning Xiaoxiao suddenly remembered the other big reason for her call today.
“Senior! Senior!”
“Mn?”
“Now that we’re at this, Kitty’s Papa actually got a double champion!”
Double champion—
As an NPC role, the champion for Old Man Xiao Shan was published after the male side of the finals concluded, there was almost no suspense here.
And he kept the high standard for Bai Ke from start to finish, so he also got a steady win after the concluding finals.
With a skill matching the reputation, he became a double champion with no controversy about the outcome.
“This, this… Now that we’re on the topic of Kitty’s Papa…” At this time, Ning Xiaoxiao’s tone suddenly became excited, reminding of a small hamster p.r.i.c.king its ears up with joy while awaiting a delicious snack, “Senior! Please, you need to introduce me to Kitty’s Papa—!”
“Mn?” The man on the other side seemed to flip to the side lightly, laying his face on a pillow, causing this soft nasal hum to come out both languid and content.
“Kitty’s Papa! You actually know him, you actually know him!” If eyes really could shine, then Ning Xiaoxiao’s would shine enough for her to work as a lighthouse in the docks. He knew that Qi Jing was intelligent and knew what she was talking about, but also played with her on purpose, so she got even more vigorous at pursuing the matter.
“Mn?” This time, she could hear that this man was laughing quietly into the pillow.
“Senioooooooor!” An excited gal she was, she even began to make her own echo effect, “Please introduce meeeeeeeee! You actually got to know such an amazing VA in secret, even tricking me by saying that you don’t know him, I only got to know it after I listened to the recording today and read the gossip on forum aaaaaaahhh! It’s just! Too! Much! But I won’t dwell on it if you introduce us to each other!”
Her soul of an audio drama staff was flaming high, thirsting for the talents. Right now, it wasn’t easy to find a good VA.
“Oh? What is the gossip on the forum saying?”
“They’re saying that… Eh, wait, did I get led off topic by you… I don’t care! I’m begging you for an introduction! Introduction!” It was rare for Ning Xiaoxiao to not get tricked by him.
There was a short period of silence on the other end of the call, then she finally heard Qi Jing laughing softly. She didn’t know why, but that day, his voice was even lower than usual, even fuller of this mild s.e.xiness of a fever-touched huskiness. “…Didn’t I introduce you to him before?”
“Ha?”
“Kitty’s Papa,” He spoke unhurriedly, like a cat basking in the sun on a winter day, enjoying it with leisure, “Didn’t I introduce you two right away? You even saw him, hm?”
“Hah? When did I…”
Ning Xiaoxiao was completely oblivious. She was about to inquire further, but she heard a slight noise in the call, as if the phone changed direction to face another way. Qi Jing seemed to no longer be speaking to the receiver, because his voice was further away, the one he spoke to was also no longer her.
But she clearly heard him say, “Kitty’s Papa, do you want to say h.e.l.lo?”.
Her heart suddenly skipped a beat—
At that time, she heard a vague noise of bed squeaking. Someone at a very short distance—at least very close to Qi Jing—turned over their body. After the rustling of the bedsheets, a man’s voice appeared in Qi Jing’s place.
“h.e.l.lo, Xiaoxiao.”
A/N:
For this chapter… Out of pity, I shall light hundred candles for little Junior, hahaha (speaking of which, it’s a rare occurrence of a Junior POV)
So how about it, can you guess why 2Yan was sleeping all the way until evening? (honest face)
T/N:
Lucilla: The sudden plot-twist with Qi Jing not winning any role QAQ But I’m also so proud of Shen Yan venturing out onto the big scene and winning two first places in one fell swoop!
P.S.: We’re approaching the end of the story and the chapters are only becoming longer. At the same time, my exams are nigh and I need to spend extra time on studying, so I might slow down with the updates and take a hiatus for both of my exam weeks at the start of February. Sorry!