Please, only me
I kept my lips shut.
The answer had already been set within me, but the tip of my tongue did not allow me to say the words easily. It wasn’t simply because it was difficult to answer.
There was something strange about his att.i.tude. Will he kill him if I wanted it?
“Who will kill him if not?”
Ricdorian blinked. It seemed as if his eyes were mixed with doubts.
“Are you really going to stab him?”
“Yes.”
The answer I gave flowed out like a promise, yet it felt more like a well-trained achievement rather than an answer.
“If you wish.”
Whether it was right or wrong had nothing to do with values.
“Anything you command. Even if I die, I will protect you.”
Something was wrong here. I like him being shy. I like him who doesn’t know what to say. But this is more than a lover who loves equally…….
“Actually, Ricdorian.”
I know he has a grudge against Chaser. I do not intend to force that grudge, forgive, or revenge. I know the hatred he has, but to put off his decision on me, what his intention was is clear.
Silence clung to my lips like frost. The wind blew in this silence.
“You asked me if I wanted to kill him, right? If I say I want to, blood will be on your hands.”
I said this and took his hand.
“Why?”
“It is your…… wish.”
“Just because you love me, don’t rely on me for everything.”
I grabbed his hand and made him bow down to me. A smile crept over my lips.
“Don’t look around.”
The blue eyes that trembled for a moment turned back to me. Looking at him back when he kidnapped me, he wasn’t kind to others.
“Like the freedom I taught you in prison. Why would you leash yourself?”
“…… Even a leash is fine if you’re the one who gives it to me.”
“Do you think I would like the obedience that I would never even consider for myself? Why do you spill blood on yourself because of my decisions?”
“Iana…….”
“I haven’t finished talking.”
Ricdorian flinched at the calm and casual remark. I said it clearly so he could hear it.
“I don’t hate you, even if you have your own decision.”
I loved Ricdorian, not the Rose entangled in this irrational relationship. Even if we are intertwined with the Roses’ bitter love, I want to have equal love, not love in which one side submits.
“You said you loved me not because of the Blue Rose, but because of your will.”
Even if he has become a normal adult, I understand why you’re doing this. Why he was considering obedience as the highest value at this moment.
He thinks that it was natural to erase his will for love. I know why it could only be like this.
“Now, don’t let go of your will.”
I grabbed his cheek.
“You can tell me what you want to do.”
“What if that’s what Iana doesn’t like? What if you don’t like me?”
His face clouded as if he was going to cry.
“Of course I will love you no matter what, but…… Iana. I’m afraid sometimes. I’m afraid that one day you will distance yourself from me. I want you to not look at other people.”
His deepest heart had finally burst out.
“…… Are you jealous?”
“Yes. A lot.”
I could tell by the ringing in my ears.
“…… Please tell me, Iana. How do I deal with these feelings?”
His big eyes and whole body were crying out for love.
“I know it’s greedy. Please, only love me.”
I glanced at him and nodded hurriedly.
“Yes. You are already doing that. Don’t cry. Alright?”
“Huff, Don’t touch the hand…….for more than five seconds…….”
“Hmm, I will. Anything else?”
“Eyes, huff……. no more than ten seconds…….”
“I see. I will try not to face them.”
“Eight seconds…….”
“Huh……. Really. Eight seconds? I’ve never counted……. I will try that too.”
The man in front of me was like a lost child. Still, he held my hand tightly, not wanting to let me go. Longing for affection even in the face of a loved one was still a detriment of this deformed relationship.
Nevertheless, it didn’t show.
“My feelings are not light enough to make me not like you for doing what I don’t like. Who do you think I am?”
I couldn’t say anything more, as I knew this was clumsy jealousy. Still, he calmly wiped away his tears and I said again.
“Why did you suddenly lose your confidence?”
“Not suddenly.”
“I like that look too.”
“…….”
“I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t think there’s anything to love.”
I patted his cheek and raised myself on a tiptoe. My lips lightly brush it.
“But I love this look. I guess it’s what love is. Don’t be anxious.”
He looked like a big beast whining. Well, there’s no need to take care of your mental health while raising animals.
“I will make less eye contact and hold hands less.”
“The steps…….”
“Steps?”
“No more than three steps…….”
“Pfft.”
I lost it and burst out laughing.
“How have you endured this jealousy until now?”
“…… Even when I saw your rose garden, I said I wanted to be by your side. But now you told me not to hold it in.”
“Yes. I said that.”
I stroked the hair that came to my arms. Treating the man I love as a big dog was funny at times, but at the same time, I found it pleasant.
“Think of this. You are no longer in prison.”
Then, as I was about to open my mouth, someone cast a shadow on me.
“Excuse me, Miss Iana.”
I just looked away without opening my mouth. I saw a man standing at a reasonable distance. It was Lenag. He pa.s.sed by with a puzzled look as if he felt the air that had subsided heavily between us.
“The wizard Jaire asked to see you, but…….”
Lenag’s eyes slowly rolled to the side.
“Am I disturbing you?”
I don’t know if he heard our conversation. Likewise, there was a high possibility because the Roses had good physical abilities.
“No. You didn’t disturb me.”
It was something I had to tell him at least once anyway. I smiled and shook my head. But as I was about to answer, this time someone tapped my shoulder.
“Sister!”
I felt a weight pressing down on my shoulders. I could tell by the soft scent. When I turned my head, there was a smiling face.
“What. What funny story were you talking about?”
“Ah…… Francia.”
She blinked her eyes and tilted her head. Then she paused.
“What, what. Did I interrupt you?”
“No.”
As I looked at Callisto dangling from Francia’s shoulder, her wrath seemed to melt away.
I smiled and shook my head. Ricdorian, looking at this, shrugged his shoulders and showed his palms.
“Iana, please forget about half of the things I said from a while ago.”
“Half?”
“…… To ask you to forget everything is a lie, but to ask you not to forget it is…….”
Haaa, he exhaled as he buried his lips in the back of his hand.
“Because I’m jealous.”
I nodded. In the distance, Jaire was waving his hand vigorously.
“Lady, can you come over here for a second?”
Why was he calling me in such a hurry? I nodded once, and if I didn’t, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to see Jaire from the place where I was.
“Then Ricdorian let’s talk again. Let’s talk about the criteria.”
“Yes.”
Ricdorian smiled brightly. I took a step back from his face, whose white cheeks were dyed red. And the moment I was about to turn my back, Ricdorian’s expression hardened terribly.
His head turned in the opposite direction. It wasn’t just Ricdorian.
“Miss Iana!”
Lenag, who was closest, pulled me in.
BANG!
A huge roar came as a huge body embraced me. I blinked in the arms that held me.
What’s going on? I couldn’t figure out what was going on in the blink of an eye. When I lifted my head from Lenag’s arms, I saw the landscape not far away. The newly built barracks, quite a distance from me, had been completely smashed.
The ground was hollow as if a meteorite had fallen.
“…… It’s black magic.”
Lenag said. And I stiffened my shoulders at his words.
“This is probably…….”
Black magic and Domulit. I didn’t have to guess who it was by those combination.
“Ignoring the distance traveled, this magic is the specialty of Duke Domulit’s closest aides.”
Lenag glanced into the hole and seemed to be looking at me. But I had no time to pay attention to his gaze.
The place we were in was a place where we had set up a temporary place to stay for the day. Groans and footsteps were heard from everywhere. The knights were calm. Their response was also quick.
As if they knew something like this would happen.
It seemed that I was the only stranger who felt this unfamiliar. I lowered my head, looking at everything calmly.
“This.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off those who groaned from their injuries.
“It’s a declaration of war.”
It was only when I heard the soft but firm sentence that I realized it.
…… That I had become the true enemy of the one I had embraced. Maybe I had been thinking of it too easily. Chaser, did I mistake him after he let me go so easily? I hope everything will go smoothly.
I felt weird. That man was the villain who made countless people disappear from the book. As long as I was living peacefully, wouldn’t he have acted like he didn’t care?
The important day.
Tension engulfed my entire body. I rested my hand on my cheek for a while, not doing anything. I wasn’t shocked anymore. I just realized that I had been a little too comfortable.
Soon I raised my head.
“Would you mind holding my hand?”
Lenag held out his hand without a word. I took this hand and stood up casually. While I was absent-minded, Ricdorian and Francia went away. I think they gave the words to fix things quickly.
“Let’s quickly get ourselves together, everyone.”
With my resolute words, they quickly took care of the barracks. Only Lenag, who handed over his power to Hernim, remained by my side. I brushed my knee.
“Shall we go?”
“Yes.”
I left the place with Lenag and headed to Jaire.