Chapter 9: Loopy Toad and Dopey the Parrot
Translator: Henyee Editor: JulesNye
In this world, nothing could surpa.s.s the most miserable way to be reincarnated, which was into the wrong body. The example of Heavenly Marshal Zhu Wuneng 1 served as a warning, and Comrade Loopy Toad was unlucky enough to follow in his footsteps. It was a self-aware demon king that had struggled to get away with the last remnant of its spirit, but in the end had somehow been summoned into the cla.s.sroom, then somehow forcefully fused with another spirit, and from a toad was reborn as a dog.
This could be said to simply be an epic miracle of cross-species reincarnation, and was one step away from making history.
After Loopy Toad had joined them, the atmosphere in cla.s.s was clearly a lot lighter. It had already become the students' habit to rub its fat little cheeks after every cla.s.s.
Most importantly, w.a.n.g Ling realized that since Loopy Toad's arrival, his own existence had suddenly diminished.
He was considerably satisfied with this.
Therefore, he gave Loopy Toad tacit consent to continue existing.
...
In the last few days, Master of Dopey Hero Guo, whose family dealt in soul pets, had taken charge of specially training Loopy Toad to bark.
This was the so-called "take things as they come," or "when in Rome, do as the Romans do"... enthusiastically training a toad that had been transformed into a dog to bark was, no matter how you thought about it, truly mystifying.
It wasn't until now that Loopy Toad realized that it had boarded a pirate s.h.i.+p with no hope of turning back 2 .
These future flowers of the motherland were bulldozing a toad into barking; this was too f**king brutal and inhuman.
And so, everyone watched how Master of Dopey vigorously trained the dog.
The well-intentioned Master of Dopey had used up almost all of his time after school to collect all kinds of videos of dogs barking to show Loopy Toad. But it only ever had a dispirited expression on its face as it lay listlessly on the ground, showing completely no ambition to strive for the peak of a dog's life after being reborn as one.
Then Master of Dopey thought that perhaps he was using the wrong approach in his teaching.
After all, in its previous life, Loopy Toad had been a majestic, fifth-ranked demon king! To make a former demon king bark like a dog... if their positions were switched, Master of Dopey knew he would also feel extremely ashamed.
And so, quick-witted Master of Dopey came up with a brand new idea.
The next day, everyone saw him carry a poster into the cla.s.sroom, then tack it to the back door.
Their jaws dropped. "Why do you have a G.o.ds of Honor poster?"
With a proud grin, Master of Dopey brought Loopy Toad over to the poster and pointed in one corner. "See that? The Heavenly Dog! The G.o.d of dogs! It's unlikely that it loses out to your demon king status, so from now on, this should be your goal!"
Loopy Toad: "..."
Everyone: "..."
In the end, instead of Master of Dopey, it was Dopey the parrot as well as a female cla.s.smate, Feather Lin, that made Loopy Toad abandon its dignity and learn to bark like a dog.
Feather Lin, who had caught w.a.n.g Ling's attention a week after the start of school, was the sixth person on his list of people around whom he had to be extra vigilant. He even felt that she was scarier than Teacher Pan — because she was a veteran fujos.h.i.+ 3 . As long as someone or something was male, Xiaoyu could accurately determine whether it was a gong or a shou 4 .
This was most apparent when Master of Dopey was coaching Loopy Toad; Feather Lin managed to turn Dopey and Loopy Toad, two different species with two different physiologies, into a couple, and even identified the gong and the shou .
Most unexpectedly, Xiaoyu had actually a.s.signed Loopy Toad, which looked like a very powerful gong , as a shou ...
Loopy Toad naturally strongly condemned and protested this.
As soon as cla.s.s was over, Feather Lin started to play matchmaker against Loopy Toad's will. "Look, from back then until now, sayings like 'crowing like a c.o.c.k and stealing like a dog,''chicken pieces and dog fragments,''imitate the dog and steal the chicken,''clay chickens and pottery dogs'... the chicken and the dog have been recognized as a couple since ancient times!"
Loopy Toad: "..." Screw chicken! This was clearly a f**king parrot!
Seeing her bulls.h.i.+t so seriously, Loopy Toad was so angry that it let out a "woof~"...
After all, when everything was said and done, it was still a dog. Even if its spirit prevented it from crying out, the body's muscle-memory wouldn't change.
Seeing how she had provoked Loopy Toad into finally barking, Feather Lin sneered a bit. "Heh, turns out it's a tsundere 5 shou ."
Loopy Toad: "..."
...
At present, it had been a week since w.a.n.g Ling started school. A number of freak accidents had led to a deviation in his plan for his high school life. He had entered a cla.s.s he shouldn't have entered, and met a bunch of dopes he shouldn't have met. Nevertheless, this could still be considered a tranquil environment.
At the very least, that feeling of being under the spotlight from the entrance test had diminished significantly, in the face of powerful brainwas.h.i.+ng due to the new Loopy Toad and Dopey couple.
But good times didn't last, and trouble was quick to arrive on his doorstep.
On Friday after school, w.a.n.g Ling sensed something unusual in the air.
He realized that someone was tailing him.
Turning to look in his peripheral vision, he immediately noted the direction which that hostile gaze was coming from.
This group of people were employing very advanced methods. They were using various high-end anti-tracking instruments, and had even resorted to various talisman formations to conceal their auras.
Unfortunately, even with these sneaky methods, they still couldn't escape w.a.n.g Ling's perception. His eyes were a million times more sensitive than the most powerful laser scanner in the world, and his ears like a sound monitor in the Earth's core. Along with his Mind-Reading Ability, he could instantly lock onto any individual on Earth whenever he wanted.
After all, with his current supreme realm, there was no one who could rival him at all.
...
"Young Master, the target has been sighted leaving the school gate." A man in black gla.s.ses and a black suit walked over to a black supercar, a limited edition model in Huaxiu nation, and bowed respectfully to the half-opened window.
"Keep following him to his home address, don't miss any clues." From the car window came a clear and cold voice.
"Yes, Young Master."
"But Young Master... just as I was reporting to you, news has come in from ahead that the target has disappeared..."
"Disappeared?!"
Motherf**ker... was that person the Flash?
"Why is Young Master insistent that we look for this person?"
The teenager at the car window sighed, a "you don't understand" expression on his face. In looking for w.a.n.g Ling, he had already spent six long years devoted to his search. Since the year of the demon rampage, he had been making discreet enquiries about this young boy, and only this year had he finally made some progress.
"Why are you looking for this person?"
The teenager in the car explained reluctantly, "Because, he is my s.h.i.+fu 6 ."
"What? Young Master's s.h.i.+fu ?"
The man in the suit and the old driver had the same astounded expressions on their faces.
If there was anyone around to see who was inside the car, they would definitely have been shocked.
Because this teenager wasn't just anybody; he was the current Deputy Director of the General Administration of 100 Cultivation Schools, and an alumnus of No. 60 High School, the world-renowned legend — Odd Zhuo.